My “I Want” Song.

There’s this scene in Beauty and the Beast that has long been one of my favorite scenes and perhaps it’s one of your favorites too.   Belle has just walked through the town, seeing everyone in their daily routine. “There goes the baker with his tray like always.”  Directly following that scene she runs onto this hill with a breathtaking view, stretches out her arms, spins around and sings,

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell. ” 

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I feel like no scene in any movie has ever depicted my heart’s longing like this scene.  Even before I gave my life to Jesus, I always felt this “bigger than me” calling on my life.  I always yearned for adventure.  I wanted more out of life than just average and mediocre.  I dreamed big dreams and got caught up in them often.  My future was shining bright with endless possibilities.

Even now, when I watch this scene, whether in the live version or the animated version, I feel my heart skip a beat and start to take flight.   Just when I think that maybe just maybe I could start dreaming again, I get hit with the reality that my life isn’t exactly in the place that I imagined it would be when I was a teenager walking around full of dreams.

Can anyone else relate?

These type of songs in musicals are called the “I Want” song where the main character sings about how they are unsatisfied with their current life, and they name what they are searching for.

We each face different seasons in our lives where we long for more out of this life for one reason or another.

Maybe you thought you would be a world famous singer or actress by now, maybe you thought your marriage would have a fairy-tale ending, maybe you thought being a mother would be more glamourous than it really is, and maybe you just thought you would accomplish your dreams by now.

Life and the journey we take is often unexpected and rarely goes as planned.   For a long time, I resented the journey for not going “as planned”.   God placed dreams, desires, and callings on my life and in moments where I felt like He had forgotten those things he placed in my heart, I would find myself unsatisfied with life.

Dissatisfaction can either motivate or cripple you.

This is a lesson that it’s taken me way too long to learn.   The whole time that I was focused on the “life I wanted,” the life I had was passing me by.   When we focus on what is not, we miss out on what is.   The Lord has many blessings in today but we miss them searching for tomorrow.

Like I have said many times,  the transition to motherhood has been a difficult one for me.  Surprisingly difficult, as the oldest sibling of five.  I wasted many days floundering; wondering when I would get to live out my calling in full-time ministry.  I wasted many days being jealous and feeling like my husband was living out my calling, and taking out that jealousy on him which he did not deserve.

Callings can become curses when we take the creator out of the equation.

I love ministry, I love students, and I want to spend all my time pouring my life into them but it’s not my only calling.   Many people told me that the greatest calling I have is to be a mom and raise my kids.  I knew this was true but I just couldn’t accept it.   I had a hard time loosening the grip I had on one calling to make way for another.   I couldn’t see how I could live out both.

Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it,
but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Surrender.

Giving up our white-knuckled grip on what we want is the key to freedom.  When our human nature is hanging on to every ounce of control, God is whispering, “Let go, I’ve got this.”

I don’t want to waste one more day missing today because of my obsession of tomorrow.

The song on repeat for me on days when I want to rush through them and wish for the next season is “Take Courage” by Bethel.  It says,

Take Courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

So, whatever season you are in right now, this is your season.  This is a season full of God’s faithfulness, because that never changes.  This season is full of hope and possibilities, it’s full of dreams, and passions.  Your future is bright but so is your present.   No matter what season you are in!   It may look different, it may be more difficult, but God is still with you wanting to speak dreams and visions into your life.  We just have to be still.  Listen.  Surrender control.

Prayer:   Jesus,  thank You for being gracious and patient with us as we try to run our own life.  Help us be present in the here and now.  Help us see Your blessings and miracles in every season, especially our season right now.   We surrender the idea that we know best.  Help us dwell in your presence and cling to you.  Speak new dreams into our hearts.  Give us hope, give us peace!   Help us to live every day out to the absolute fullest!  Let us be content in the plan that You have laid out.  Your ways are higher and  perfect!  We love you!  Amen. 
Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and honest with you.  Praying for you!

Let’s take on life together!

LOVE YOU!!!
Megan

 

 

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For the Unseen Momma

To the momma who is dealing with two screaming kids in the store,
I see you.

To the momma missing another church service because their kiddo won’t let go,
I see you. 

To the momma feeling lost,
I see you.

To the momma busy feeding her kids while others have grown up conversations,
I see you. 

To the momma, struggling, just to keep it all together,
I see you. 

To the momma, doing it all alone,
I see you. 

To the momma, running late no matter how early you start getting everyone ready,
I see you.

To the momma,  feeling like failure,
I see you. 

To the momma, aching for her kiddos while she’s at work,
I see you. 

To the momma, feeling overwhelmed.
I see you.

To the momma, feeling guilty for missing independence,
I see you. 

To the momma, running her kids from one practice and game to another,
I see you.

To the momma, feeling unappreciated and invisible,
I see you.

To the momma, feeling inadequate to handle the obstacles being thrown at you, 
I see you.

To the momma, in the mirror,
I see you. 

I see YOU!!  And you are killin’ it!  You’re doing an incredible job, momma! You are seen, you are appreciated, you are loved, despite the feelings you feel.  You aren’t just seen by me, a fellow mom in the trenches, but you are seen so deeply and so completely by our Heavenly Father.  He sees you.  He sees YOU!  In every season, in every struggle, in every triumph, He sees you and KNOWS you, and cares for you.  He hasn’t forgotten you.  He hasn’t left you. He is with you.

Prayer:  Lord, thank you for these mommas who serve their families endlessly.  I pray that you would refresh and renew their strength.  Help them to know they are seen and loved by You, and that they are not alone.  I pray you would send them encouragement and incredible friendships.  I pray you would bless them.  Meet them right now, show them you are there with them! Amen. 

Action:  Give a fellow mom some extra love and encouragement this week.

Let’s take on life together!

Megan 

Momming and Ministry:Part 1

Hey there friends!

I have missed you guys!!  This past month or so has been slammed full of summer fun for us, and I hope it has been for you too! We had friends and family visit, a week of youth camp, and finally our family vacation.  It’s been a blast, but has kept me busy and away from you!

I have a lot that I want to update you on but won’t be able to cram it all into one post. So, in this post, I’m going to share one of my biggest struggles in hopes that it encourages you. Before we get there, we have to go a ways back…

When I was a freshman in high school, God totally wrecked my life. I was a lost girl who was searching for love and purpose in things that would never fulfill me, and I was royally screwing up my life in the process. Jesus found me in the middle of my hurt and brokenness and changed me. He gave me hope. He gave me a purpose greater than fulfilling my selfish desires.

From that moment on, I lived my life completely for Him. I jumped all in and started serving in our youth ministry. I couldn’t get enough! I was involved in anything and everything. I went to camps, was called into ministry, went on missions trips, served anywhere and everywhere there was a need. I loved every minute of it! I poured myself out for our youth ministry, and it became my passion.

Fast forward a few years when I fell in love with my best friend. (I’ll share this story another time) I enjoyed every moment I was able to spend with him, and I still do! He was a pastor’s kid who spent time running from his calling, but was now on the path to becoming a pastor himself. It was a dream come true!  I would be able to be involved in ministry alongside my awesome, Jesus loving hubby!

After being married for 4 years, we became pregnant with our first child, Jaxon. We were also transitioning to our first youth pastor position. I could not be more excited about beginning this new journey as youth pastors and as parents. These were two of my biggest dreams coming true!! I was stoked!

Have you ever expected something to turn out one way, only to find yourself in a completely different reality? I had this vision of being a beaming, wonderful, carefree mom- after all, I had four younger siblings I helped raise – this being my pre”children of my own” thinking. I thought I would nail this momming thing. I was obviously very naive and had no idea how hard it was going to be.

Needless to say, I had a really hard time transitioning into motherhood. Did I love Jaxon with all my heart? Of course! Did I love being his mom? Absolutely! But, man! Motherhood is stinking hard! Sometimes, I think the most difficult part is letting go of the way you thought things were going to be. It’s hard letting go of your expectations and dreams of how you thought things were going to go and come to terms with your reality. This is something I continue to learn and battle daily.

I imagined every day being beautiful and magical with this precious and perfect baby boy and that it would all come so easy and naturally to me, but it didn’t. My days had beautiful and magical moments but they also had hard and lonely moments. I was lost and feeling like I had failed as a mom because I didn’t enjoy every single second of it. Some days I missed my old life. I missed my freedom. I missed “me” time. I missed having alone time with my hubby.

I never realized how selfish I was until I became a mom.

** I have to pause here to say, if you have mom friends in your life who come alongside you and cheer you on in your good and bad moments, you are incredibly blessed. If you don’t have mom friends like this, I totally feel you! I went through the first two years of motherhood alone and clueless. I had access to a couple really great moms, but I didn’t utilize those friendships like I should have.
If you are struggling as a mom, find mom friends who can invest in you and help you along the way, and be that kind of friend to others! I never realized how priceless this was until I was surrounded by INCREDIBLE, I mean, FANTASTIC mommies that have taken me under their wings and encouraged me on hard days. They encourage me without judgment and that is priceless.  Be that mom, friend!***

I thought that because I had a hard time transitioning to being a mother and because I missed how things used to be, that it made me a bad mom. I really beat myself up and struggled with a lot of guilt. I still struggle with guilt some days. But- now I know the importance of saving some time for me just to be me and be by myself. I have to remind myself constantly who I am and that being a mom doesn’t cancel that out.

Mom out there, who feels like she is constantly coming up short, who feels alone and missing out, who feels stuck in her day to day like you’re never going to have fun again, take a moment and breathe.  Acknowledge all those feelings you are having.  Soak them in.  Then, give them to God.   Let Him carry all the worry, anxiety, fear of what could happen or might happen, fear of you not doing a good enough job, and rest in knowing you are CHOSEN.  You are chosen for this season and you are going to be okay.

There are many days when I still have a hard time transitioning to motherhood.  I think back on the girl I used to be.  The one with crazy hair, a zeal for life, always dreaming, and I wonder where she is.   It is so easy to get so caught up in taking care of everyone else that we forget that WE are CALLED, we are CHOSEN, we have GREAT things in store, we have dreams that have yet to be dreamt, and that the best is ahead of us.

So today, spend some time with the Lord.  Ask Him to place those dreams and desires back in your heart, that spark back in your eyes, and dwell in who He has called you to be!img_7385-1

Let’s take on this life together! 💕

~ Megan

10 Best Resources for Moms

So…

Here’s the deal… over the last few weeks (this is a very conservative estimate) I have  been fighting my toddler nonstop on EVERYTHING.

Sleep.
Eating.
Listening.
Cleaning up.
Being nice.
Not saying no.
Following directions.
Hitting.
Coloring on paper only.
Not climbing on the counter.
Not picking his scabs.
Not eating his scabs (yes, seriously)

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This list could continue FOR-EV-VER!!!

This is not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last where I feel like I have ZERO idea what I am doing!   So please, help a sister out!

I bet you thought that I was going to have 10 resources for moms in this blog post.  I totally get why you would think that.  But no,  its just desperate me who needs some resources for moms, for myself….

Oh wise mothers who have gone before me, please give me some of your wisdom.

What are some of the greatest resources that helped you survive and make it through motherhood.  What are some things you did that were wins?   Lets help each other out and share our wisdom.   I’ll have a follow up post with your suggestions!

Let’s take on life together!

~Megan

Insecurity vs. Obedience

Let me take a moment to say a sincere thank you to everyone who has read, commented, liked, responded, and started following Heart of a Girl!  You guys are my heroes!   Thank you for encouraging me and laughing with me!

When I first felt the Lord stirring my heart about starting a blog,  I was hit with a lot of insecurities, doubts, and fears.   I felt like I had nothing to say.  I felt like EVERYONE had a blog and I would be just another person with a blog.  I felt like I didn’t have anything to offer.  All these “What ifs” started flooding my mind: 

What if I don’t have anything to say?
What if I quit this like so many other things I’ve quit?
What if I don’t follow through?
What if I lose interest?
What if I don’t know what I’m doing?
What if I can’t keep up with posting?
What if I’m not any good?
What if I’m just another blogger lost in the blogosphere?
What if I fail?
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if no one wants to read what I have to say?
What if no one likes it?
What if people think its stupid?
What if this….
What if that…

   These endless thoughts, fears, doubts – insecurities; flooded my mind.  I was so focused on these insecurities that I almost allowed them to cause me to be disobedient.   At the end of the day, my obedience matters not the answers to “What ifs”.  Even if my worst “What if” comes true, all I need to know is that I followed the Lord, trusted Him, and was obedient.

What is the Lord speaking to you about?  Are you walking in obedience or are you walking in fear?   Are you stepping out in faith and trusting Him even though the outcome is uncertain?  Is your mind so fogged with insecurity that you can’t see His will for you?

                                           “ Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
                                        don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
                        Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
                                              he’s the one who will keep you on track.
                                                 Don’t assume that you know it all.”
                                            Proverbs 3:5-7   (The Message)

Prayer:  Lord, thank you for being patient and gracious with us when we allow insecurities and fears to determine our steps instead of You.  Help us to follow You even when we are afraid.  Help us to trust that You have a plan and that following You is the best thing we could do.  Help us to be obedient and step out wherever you call us.   We want to be obedient no matter what!   No matter how hard or scary it may seem, we are trusting You!  I pray that you begin working miracles in the lives of those who are taking a step of faith with You!  Show them your goodness and faithfulness. Amen.

Action:  Evaluate yourself and begin walking in obedience in any area that you may currently be walking in fear.

Here’s to ignoring that voice that yells at me “WHAT IF” every time I hit the “Publish” button.   You guys are awesome!

Let’s take on life together!

~ Megan

18 Struggles Every Sunday

 

If you are a mom to any baby, toddler, child, teenager, (or husband) you probably know how hard it is making it anywhere on time.  If you do NOT know the struggle of being on time as a mother, please, Please, PLEASE give me your secret!  Like, immediately!!!

Growing up, my mom was ALWAYS late.  Every. Single. Time. we went anywhere.  I never understood why we could never make it on time.  I now know.  I now know this struggle all too well.  I see my mother every time I look in the rearview mirror backing out of the driveway.  So… sorry mom for all the attitude your hormonal teenage daughter used to give you! 😘

So as I muddle through life trying to be on time, Sunday mornings tend to be one big epic fail every week.  Why can I not get the hang of this?  It comes EVERY SINGLE WEEK!  So… here are my top struggles EVERY SUNDAY.

 

18 Struggles Every Sunday:

 

1.  Your toddler refused to sleep the night before.

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2. You promise yourself you WILL be on time today! 

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3. You needed to wash your hair…

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4. You do your makeup with a toddler in your lap.

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5. You forgot to make coffee…

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6.  All ready to leave…. someone poops.

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7. You can’t handle one more meltdown.

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8. One last look in the mirror.

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9. Finally get in the car, suddenly the baby is STARVING.

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10. Your child hates the constraints of his carseat.

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11. Pull into the parking lot and try to get your crap together.

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12. You are late. AGAIN.

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13. You finally get your kids checked into their class 

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14. You make it into the service!

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15. You get a call to come get your kid out of the nursery.

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16. Someone asks you to lunch during nap time.

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17. Your house when your get back home.

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18. You get a Sunday nap.

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But in all seriousness, Sundays can be hard.  I find myself wondering if the struggle to make it to church is worth it and every single week I am glad I did.  Moms, you are awesome and you’re not the only one on the verge of losing your salvation while trying to make it to church.  Lets stick together and encourage one another!  You got this!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

Lets take on life together! 💕

Love you all.

– Megan

 

Some Days

Ever feel like you are nailing this parenting thing?  You know those days where you made it without completely losing your mind.  Your child listened and followed directions, you did art time, song time, taught them a thing or two, made lunch, all while managing to not flip out on anyone or have any sort of emotional breakdown.  A day where you are sad to lay them down for bed because you had such a great time with them that you just want to soak up every second that you can?

I had a day like this once… I think.

But – more times than not, I lose it at least once.  I know this doesn’t set me up to be “parent of the year” and certainly not SAHM of the year. Most days I mess up most things.  Most days I feel like I have NO IDEA what in the world I’m doing. Most days I wonder how much counseling my kids are going to need if they ever survive this. Most days I question my sanity and wonder how they let me leave the hospital with these kids.

 

Jaxon throwing a fit because I had the audacity to go to the bathroom.


On days when I feel like I can’t get one thing right or anything right at all and I feel like everything I do is the complete WRONG thing, when I feel like my child will never learn to be the kind, considerate, person I keep trying to shape him to be, when I feel like I will never get the hang of this momming thing, there are tiny sparkling moments throughout the day to remind me that its going to be okay.

Its amazing how HUGE a difference such a tiny moment can make in this mommy’s day.  All I need is one hug, one kiss, one kind action, one moment of listening and following directions, a new thing learned, a tiny milestone, a helpful moment, a silent moment (especially this one😉).  Just ONE of any of these things can melt my hardened heart.  They can melt my anger, selfishness, frustration, weariness, insecurities, and doubts. When all that melts away,  all that remains is love.  LOVE for this tiny human who has such a hold on me.  Who has this power over me to bring out my best  despite my worst.

 

He really does love his sister

In those moments I am reminded not only how much I love my wonderful and amazing children but also how the Lord feels that same (BUT MUCH GREATER) love for me and for you! It doesn’t matter how far we fall, how many mistakes we make, how many times we should’ve driven Him crazy, His grace for us exceeds what we could ever imagine. He loves us. He sits patiently waiting for us to realize our need for Him and He longs to help us.

In tough moments be encouraged and know that you are not alone. You were specifically chosen to be the mommy to your kiddos. There is no one else more qualified or who could do this job like you! God called you to your kids and He will help you when you ask!

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”     Hebrews‬ ‭4:16‬ 

Prayer: Lord, I pray for every mom out there that is feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. Every mom who feels so lonely and inadequate. I pray you would encourage her and send deep friendships into her life to lift her up and love her. I pray you would give her peace and comfort knowing you are by her side.  Fill her mind with Your truth and dissolve the lies the enemy tries to get her to believe. Give her the strength she needs. Lead her in Your love and grace. Help her to become the mom You have called her to be and to be able to walk in that confidently. Amen.

Action: Reach out to another mommy this week. Let her know she’s not alone. Encourage her. Pray for her. Show up at her door (with a heads up)  with a venti iced white mocha with coconut milk and toffee nut.  Show her that you are there. This will bless her which in return will bless you far greater then you would expect!

Love you girls!

Let’s take on life together. 💕

Forgiveness

forgiveness

This is the actual definition of forgiveness.

A lot of times we struggle with forgiveness and justify our anger or hatred towards someone because we feel we have the “right” to those feelings because of what has been done to us. But the Lord calls us to be like Him. Forgive like Him. Love like Him. Live like Him. This is extremely hard.

This is so hard when someone hurts you. They hurt you when you don’t deserve it. They hurt you when you showed kindness and love. They hurt you when you would do anything for them. They hurt you and turn their back on you. They hurt you much like we have hurt Jesus.

Yet, we receive love. We receive forgiveness. We receive grace. Even for our worst mistakes. Today, I choose to forgive. Forgive fully. To the point of wishing well. Forgive as Christ has forgiven me and continues to forgive me despite my many faults and failures.

Today, lets choose to forgive and love one another when we least deserve it.Eph 4.3col3.13

motherhood

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•Motherhood•

It’s hard to fully convey how much becoming a mother has changed me. There is nothing like staring in the face of the responsibility of raising this tiny human into a thriving adult.

Never have I felt such deep and overwhelming fear, inadequacy, anxiety, uncertainty, guilt, worry, and loneliness. It’s easy to let these feelings take over sometimes. BUT nothing, no amount of difficulty or negative feeling can steal the absolute JOY that motherhood brings.

I never imagined I was capable of such overwhelming love. A love so strong that it hurts. A love so automatic that it takes over everything else. Looking at my kids, I’m in awe that I could be trusted with something so important, so difficult, so beautiful, so rewarding.

For every difficult moment, every self-doubt, every emotional breakdown, every time I feel like I’m doing it all wrong, there are a million more tiny moments that fill my world and fill my heart with a flood of absolute and complete bliss and perfect happiness.

It amazes me how one tiny moment can change my whole outlook in a split second. A sweet smile, a slobbery kiss, a monumental milestone, a kind action, a right choice, a hug so tight you can barely breathe, a cuddle with you on the couch, playing pretend, singing the ABC’s for the thousandth time, sharing a toy with a friend; these tiny moments of accomplishment make up the joy of being a mom. I can feel like a failure and that feeling can disappear at a moments notice when my kid looks as me with such pure and innocent love and trust.

These motherhood moments slip through our fingers like grains of sand. Take those moments, use them as an opportunity to build castles with that sand and build as many as you can.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Seeking Approval? 


Any other people pleasers out there?  🙋🏻 

Ever since I can remember I have struggled with caring about what people think of me.  This struggle came as a packaged deal with a dose of anxiety and fear.   

I found myself not putting myself out there because of the fear that I would cause friction or cause someone to think negatively of me.  I always took comfort in being the peacemaker and getting along with everyone until that no longer was enough. 

Let me let you in on a secret… 

It doesn’t matter if you do all the “right” things, are nice to everyone, and do everything to keep the peace, someone out there will find a reason to not like you. 


It’s easy to chalk it up as just being a compassionate person who loves people and that’s why I struggle so much when someone has an issue with me but honestly, and this stings a bit, it boils down to selfishness and pride.  

I want people to love and accept me because it’s easy.  It’s comfortable. It’s not work.  It’s nice. 

BUT- as Christ followers, there are going to be people that hate you. There are going to be people that hate you for the simple fact that you show love and kindness to someone that they hate, there are even going to be people that hate you just because you are nice, people will hate you because they don’t understand you, and that’s okay. 

Something that I have to continue to remind myself is this: 

If I focus on following the Lord and being obedient to Him, everything else will fall into place. It may not be how I imagine it to turn out, or what my selfishness desires, but keeping my eyes on HIM keeps my focus on what’s the most important thing (the ONLY important thing) and that’s to bring glory and honor to Jesus with my life. 

My comfort is doing what I know I can do about the situation and that is being obedient to the Lord and relying on His guidance. 

At the end of the day, that is all that matters and He will do the work that only He can do! 

I heard this quote this week that really spoke to me, 

Your enemy isn’t people, it’s the Enemy! 

 Even when people hurt us, the enemy is Satan, not that person who caused you pain.  This battle is won in prayer and the Lord has the final say.  

This perspective helps me forgive a little easier, and heal a little quicker no matter how deep those wounds are.  

So here’s to being bold and unashamed of what the Lord has called you to do and who He has created you to be!  Show love and grace but don’t allow what others think, or fear, or anxiety to hold you back from chasing that calling!  No matter what you face, always run toward Jesus. 

Prayer:  Lord, I thank you so much for being the only approval I need. I am so thankful that You are my judge and my strength. Help us to rely fully on you and stop relying on ourselves. Comfort us and be our security whenever we face rejection, whether that be from friends, coworkers, strangers or even family.  Remind us daily of your love for us, and help us to chase your calling on our lives with obedience. We love you! Amen. 

Action:  This week, step out and be bold in who God has called you to be! Take comfort in that and encourage a friend in this as well! 

Love you all so very much! 

Let’s take on life together, 

Megan

When Life Gives You Pumpkins… Make Pumpkin Pie!

    As October 31st quickly approaches, many are gearing up to take their sweet kiddos Trick or Treating, maybe as a superhero or princess. I am caught up in reflection of the past year. One year ago on Halloween, one chapter was closed and we faced the beginning of a new one. 

   I was 30 weeks pregnant with my sweet baby girl and we were packing up our house, moving 6 hours away, and in with my husband’s family. Being 30 weeks pregnant was not ideal for moving when all I wanted to do was sleep and not puke! (Yes, I am one of those people who are sick the entire pregnancy) 😬😷

   It also was not an ideal time to move in with family at 26 years old, pregnant, and with a wild toddler but we were so thankful to have family to encourage and support us in a very difficult season.
   My then, almost two year old had to miss out on dressing up or Trick or Treating. He also missed celebrating his birthday with his friends and having a birthday party. BUT-  luckily he wasn’t old enough to realize what he was missing out on, its mostly hard on mommas missing out on milestones for their kiddos.  

In this season there were so many fears and uncertainties: How will we pay to have our little girl? Who will be her doctor? Will they take care of us? What is next for us? How will we be able to pay for everything until we find a job? How will we survive this season? How are our students going to handle this? Did we do everything we could to equip them before we left? Will they know how deeply we love them? Will they know that will not change? Will ministry always be this hard and hurt so bad? 

All these questions and more were on repeat in our minds. We were afraid and unsure but we took it one day at a time. One by one, the Lord answered our questions and calmed our fears. Though the situation wasn’t “ideal” in our minds, the Lord knew what He was doing. 

The Lord gave Colton a job to provide for us while we were in the valley. He gave us time to visit with family for the first time in many years. He gave us support and love and time to heal. We celebrated the holidays with our friends and family.  We had our baby girl and she was absolutely perfect! But most importantly He brought us through to the Promised Land. 

On the other side of the valley, we can now see how blessed we are to be where we are. The Lord didn’t just bring us through to survive but to thrive!  He brought us to a place of encouragement and healing.   We are a part of a church that loves and supports us and believes in us. Not just that, but we have deep relationships where we are able to do life together. We don’t feel alone anymore.  

If we had to go through many more hard seasons to get to where we are today then it would all be worth it. 

In a season full of fear and uncertainty, the Lord took care of us, like He ALWAYS does. Somehow I always question His faithfulness when He has never given me a reason to doubt Him. He continues to show me that He is trustworthy. 

When you go through a difficult season it’s easy to become bitter, hardened, and angry with God. But take heart, you never know the blessings that are on the other side! 

I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but the Lord does and He hasn’t forgotten you. He sees you, He sees the depth of your hurt and wants to heal you. He sees the walls and bitterness that you have allowed in your life and wants to break down those strongholds.  He is the only one who can take an impossible situation and bring beauty from it. 

So, don’t give up! Take heart! God’s got you! 


PRAY: Lord, I pray for every person reading this. I pray that you meet them right where they are, that you would fill their hurt and brokenness with Your love and grace.  Show them your hope in whatever hopeless situation they may be facing. Show them Your goodness and faithfulness. I pray You show them that You can be trusted. I thank You for what You’re going to do in their lives. 

ACTION: This week, no matter what you’re facing, write a list of what you’re thankful for. I have found that thankfulness protects against bitterness. 

Love you sweet friends. So thankful for you! 

Let’s take on life together! 

~Megan 

Momming & Ministry: Part II

I know that I talk about this a lot, but it can be so easy to lose yourself in motherhood.   Now, I don’t mean that being a mom isn’t the most amazing privilege in the whole world; I definitely believe this with my whole heart; but sometimes it becomes your only identity.   While my husband is the most incredible human being in the world, I find it so hard to be able to convey to him this feeling that I have struggled with since earning the title of “mommy”.

I know that he would do absolutely anything in the world to make me feel valued and like a total mom rock star, but its so hard to describe how much this little person that you birthed, or adopted, that you became a mommy to, has completely taken over your life; in the most amazing and the most challenging way.  Maybe you are super woman, and you never lost your identity in motherhood, which in that case, I need all your wisdom, knowledge, and secrets!   Or maybe you haven’t realized it yet.   It took me awhile to find out why I just didn’t feel “like myself”.

This struggle is all too real to me.  Some days I feel like I was made for this being a mom thing, which SPOILER: I was!  But some days,  I question what I am doing with my life.   There is no way to prepare you for the transition into motherhood.  Nothing to get you ready to care for someone else- endlessly.   It consumes your life.   Just to be clear, this is not a complaint, I absolutely would NOT trade my amazing kids for ANYTHING in this world BUT that does not neglect the fact that it is HARD!!!

This transition still hits me in the face, even after 2 1/2 years.   The hardest part is accepting that, in this season, I can’t be as involved with the church as I would like to be. Man, this is so, so hard for me to accept.  I have fought this reality kicking and screaming.

In High School, I felt called into the ministry and since then I have chased this dream wholeheartedly.

  Have you had passions or dreams that you have put on the back burner since becoming a mom?

Now, I should say that I am still involved in ministry, its just not in the capacity that I am used to or that is ideal for me and my ways.   I know all you seasoned moms out there will remind me that I will miss these times with my kids and look back and cherish these moments.   I know that is all too true… which makes me feel guilty for having these moments where I wish I was somewhere else, doing something else.

I am being so real with you, friends.

There are moments where I am filled with envy and jealousy.  I see my amazing hubby living out and walking in the same passions and dreams that I have, and it is so hard to not feel like I am missing out.   I look at him longingly, wishing I could be there by his side doing ministry full-time with him.

I love my kids so much it hurts.
I love my husband so much it hurts.
And I love ministry so much it hurts.

Sometimes, we forget that what we are facing right now is not going to last forever.

In this season, I’ve been praying for the Lord to give me contentment.  I want to be content in this season without forgetting and completely neglecting my dreams.  This is something I must do to thrive.  I must continue to dream.  I want to be able to teach my kids to dream and chase after those dreams.  I can’t do that if I don’t dream myself.

So, keep dreaming.   God has BIG dreams in store for you, and for me.

In these moments when I am SO VERY aware of my weaknesses, I am beyond humbled and thankful that I have a God who is strong enough to carry me.

PRAYER:  Jesus,  I thank you for everyone reading this blog.  I pray that you use my struggles and my weaknesses to encourage even just one person out there.  I pray you be with all my mom friends out there.  I pray that you would send them some encouragement.  Being a mom is so hard on its own without adding other struggles or trials they may be facing.  I pray that you fill them with peace, hope, and new dreams.  Speak your dreams into their lives.  Thank you for what you have done and are yet to do. Amen. 

Action:  Take some time for yourself this week.  Do something you LOVE!  Write down some dreams that you want to see become reality.   Take time to be refreshed and remind yourself that you are not just an AMAZING mom, but YOU are an AMAZING, and unique individual with gifts and talents!  

I am praying for you dear friends.   I am just taking this journey one step at a time and trying to be real and transparent in my weaknesses and allowing HIM to be my strength.
Love you all.

Let’s take on life together!

~Megan

10 Thoughts about becoming a Dad

     Finding out that your wife is pregnant is one of the most exciting and overwhelming things, especially if its with your first child.   There are so many emotions that take place all in the span of about… 30 seconds.  So here are a few thoughts that fly through the male brain at that exact moment.  Keep in mind that this is the male brain and it can often look much different than the female brain.  Sometimes we come across as knuckle draggers…

1. “Oh my gosh! I am going to be a dad!

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2. “Oh my gosh… I am going to be a dad…

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3. “There is no way that I am adult enough to do this!”

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4. “Wait… I cant afford a kid!”

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5. If its a boy I will teach him to be a man! (even if neither one of us can grow a beard)

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6. If its a girl do i have to play “dress up”?

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7. Im definitely not wearing one of those baby carrier things!

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8. If I have a daughter she is never dating?

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9. I will never be a dorky dad!

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10. I will never get a minivan!

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Happy Father’s Day to all you awesome dads out there!

– Colton

You Can’t Have Enough Ice Cream

Hey friends!

Yesterday was “one of those days.”  Where I was that mom and my son was that kid…  My incredibly sleep deprived self, got my kids up and at ’em, dropped my hubs off at work (I see you one vehicle families) and headed to summer book club!  Shout out to all you ladies who so kindly and graciously helped me in my state of craziness.   I hope the crazy exit we made didn’t keep you from hearing from the Lord!

I knew I had to leave early for Jaxon’s speech therapy but decided to go anyways.   I was really excited and knew Jaxon would have a great time playing with his friends and it would be a win for all of us.   Isn’t is great when your kids throw you for a loop?  As it turns out,  my son is not the super human who can function forever without sleep.  Apparently the perfect storm was brewing and decided to hit.  In the middle of book club.

I know that the ladies I’m surrounded by are all incredible and godly moms who were most likely not thinking about how I obviously don’t have my crap together and have no control over my kid.  I know that they are AMAZING and probably felt sorry for me and empathized with me.  I know thats how I feel when I see other moms in the same position.

Kid screaming and throwing a fit, baby crying because she’s hungry,  making a very loud and disruptive exit.   And I thought I would just sneak out.   Um no, not happening.   All of this after my toddler dumped toys out everywhere and kept screaming and having meltdowns.   Did I mention all the other children were perfect little angels?

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As I sat in the car, I immediately began texting my husband and telling him all about how horrible our child had been and how embarrassed I was.   I told him that I was never going back to book club again.   How I felt like a horrible mom.  How I don’t have any idea what I’m doing at this momming thing.  How I just felt like I couldn’t get it right.

Ever been there?

Some days go like this.  Some days I feel like a crazy person.  Some days I feel like I’m barely holding it together.

Some days I have ice cream for lunch.


But what happens when thats not enough? What happens when everything I try to do to comfort myself fails? What happens when nothing is good enough?

I find that when I try to do this on my own, I fail epically.  Ever since I became a mom, I’ve felt clueless on what I’m doing.  That’s why it’s vital that I rely on the Lord.

I need Him.

I am daily aware of my weakness.  While I can use that to remind me of my need for the Lord and the importance of dwelling in His presence, I tend to allow the enemy to use my weakness to imprison me.

My first thought when leaving book club was not, “I can’t do this, I so need the Lord’s help.” It was “I can’t do this. I’m not cut out for this. I’m never showing my face here again.”

The enemy likes to leverage these moments against us.  Remind us of our shortcomings and hold us hostage. He likes to feed our insecurities and negative thoughts so we don’t receive what God has for us.

How easy it is to allow the enemy to have this power over us.  How easy it is to focus on our weakness instead of the Lord’s strength.


Live in the Lord’s strength, freedom, and grace today. You CAN do it because God’s got you! He supplies all that we need.  We just have to ask Him.

Prayer: Lord, help me and anyone else who is struggling with this. Help us take our eyes off of ourselves and our weaknesses and place them on You and Your perfect strength.  Help us to rely on YOUR strength and not on our own.  Fill us up.  Encourage us.  Take over our way of doing things and help us to walk in Your ways.  Amen! 

Action:  When you find yourself dwelling on your failures and shortcomings, refocus yourself on God’s perfect strength.  Allow Him to lead you instead of doing it alone.

I am so thankful for my amazing mom friends.  I am thankful for the ones who call to encourage me when I feel like giving up.  Thank you to every lady who checked on me and empathized with my day.  I love you!

Surround yourself with these types of ladies and be that girl yourself.

Love you all! Let’s take on life together!

~ Megan