My “I Want” Song.

There’s this scene in Beauty and the Beast that has long been one of my favorite scenes and perhaps it’s one of your favorites too.   Belle has just walked through the town, seeing everyone in their daily routine. “There goes the baker with his tray like always.”  Directly following that scene she runs onto this hill with a breathtaking view, stretches out her arms, spins around and sings,

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell. ” 


I feel like no scene in any movie has ever depicted my heart’s longing like this scene.  Even before I gave my life to Jesus, I always felt this “bigger than me” calling on my life.  I always yearned for adventure.  I wanted more out of life than just average and mediocre.  I dreamed big dreams and got caught up in them often.  My future was shining bright with endless possibilities.

Even now, when I watch this scene, whether in the live version or the animated version, I feel my heart skip a beat and start to take flight.   Just when I think that maybe just maybe I could start dreaming again, I get hit with the reality that my life isn’t exactly in the place that I imagined it would be when I was a teenager walking around full of dreams.

Can anyone else relate?

These type of songs in musicals are called the “I Want” song where the main character sings about how they are unsatisfied with their current life, and they name what they are searching for.

We each face different seasons in our lives where we long for more out of this life for one reason or another.

Maybe you thought you would be a world famous singer or actress by now, maybe you thought your marriage would have a fairy-tale ending, maybe you thought being a mother would be more glamourous than it really is, and maybe you just thought you would accomplish your dreams by now.

Life and the journey we take is often unexpected and rarely goes as planned.   For a long time, I resented the journey for not going “as planned”.   God placed dreams, desires, and callings on my life and in moments where I felt like He had forgotten those things he placed in my heart, I would find myself unsatisfied with life.

Dissatisfaction can either motivate or cripple you.

This is a lesson that it’s taken me way too long to learn.   The whole time that I was focused on the “life I wanted,” the life I had was passing me by.   When we focus on what is not, we miss out on what is.   The Lord has many blessings in today but we miss them searching for tomorrow.

Like I have said many times,  the transition to motherhood has been a difficult one for me.  Surprisingly difficult, as the oldest sibling of five.  I wasted many days floundering; wondering when I would get to live out my calling in full-time ministry.  I wasted many days being jealous and feeling like my husband was living out my calling, and taking out that jealousy on him which he did not deserve.

Callings can become curses when we take the creator out of the equation.

I love ministry, I love students, and I want to spend all my time pouring my life into them but it’s not my only calling.   Many people told me that the greatest calling I have is to be a mom and raise my kids.  I knew this was true but I just couldn’t accept it.   I had a hard time loosening the grip I had on one calling to make way for another.   I couldn’t see how I could live out both.

Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it,
but whoever loses their life for me will find it.


Giving up our white-knuckled grip on what we want is the key to freedom.  When our human nature is hanging on to every ounce of control, God is whispering, “Let go, I’ve got this.”

I don’t want to waste one more day missing today because of my obsession of tomorrow.

The song on repeat for me on days when I want to rush through them and wish for the next season is “Take Courage” by Bethel.  It says,

Take Courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

So, whatever season you are in right now, this is your season.  This is a season full of God’s faithfulness, because that never changes.  This season is full of hope and possibilities, it’s full of dreams, and passions.  Your future is bright but so is your present.   No matter what season you are in!   It may look different, it may be more difficult, but God is still with you wanting to speak dreams and visions into your life.  We just have to be still.  Listen.  Surrender control.

Prayer:   Jesus,  thank You for being gracious and patient with us as we try to run our own life.  Help us be present in the here and now.  Help us see Your blessings and miracles in every season, especially our season right now.   We surrender the idea that we know best.  Help us dwell in your presence and cling to you.  Speak new dreams into our hearts.  Give us hope, give us peace!   Help us to live every day out to the absolute fullest!  Let us be content in the plan that You have laid out.  Your ways are higher and  perfect!  We love you!  Amen. 
Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and honest with you.  Praying for you!

Let’s take on life together!